- The Waltons, the Olympics and there’s love in the air
I can’t remember the last time I reflected on my life. As the babes would say, I don’t know where the time goes, there aren’t enough hours in the day and I can’t believe it’s March already – but at least the clocks go forward soon, so the days will be longer... but it’ll be darker in the mornings. Oh my good god; it’s no wonder I can’t think straight.
What does it all mean? Nobody knows. Certainly not them.
They’re getting on my nerves at the moment, going on about Series 5 of The Waltons and how they can’t get it anywhere, but they’ve finished Series 4 and now they don’t have anything to watch when they’re eating pizza. I don’t know why they can’t just watch the ‘ads’ like they usually do; they enjoy them the most. Maybe I’ll buy them Series 1 of the ads for a present. Seems to me they spend too much time thinking about The Waltons – that’s where it all goes; it’s pretty obvious. The Waltons is just a bunch of people in dungarees running around being nice to each other on a mountain, with a moral to the story, the food looks boring and there are no cats. I prefer Saturday Kitchen.
She babe used to buy me lots of presents to cheer me up but she hasn’t done for ages; she just gets old ones out of the box and thinks I won’t realise. She knows I only like my mouse with the bell that wakes them up when I’m playing in the bedroom at 5 in the morning... and I still quite like the spongy blue ball (more than the green one)... and the catnip gingerbread man my granny gave me for Christmas; I’ve pulled his bow tie off but I’m saving his buttons for another time when I’m really bored.
Last night she babe went to the gym. I’m not sure why. She said it was a class called ‘Body Blitz’ and she could hardly walk after it. And her membership is ‘costing a fortune’ so she has to do it. I’m still trying to figure it all out. He babe goes to work and gets his body blitzed and he gets paid to do that. I think it might be because she’s going to be in the Olympics. That’s something to do with ‘sport’ and she’s not going to have a social life because she’ll be rehearsing every weekend. I have no idea what she’s talking about, as usual. This is my first Olympics so I expect I’ll understand when I’ve seen it, or done it, or whatever it is. Last night she did a ‘group cycling’ class at the gym so she’s probably going to be doing that. They watched it on tele the other week. The men have huge thighs, just like hers.
I’m looking forward to doing some sport again; it’s been very quiet in the garden lately. The babes think I’ve scared all the other cats away because I’m so huge and they said it’s too cold for flies and bees, so it’s really boring. But there was a bit fat bumble bee the other day so I had some practice chasing him off anyway.
They had an ‘estate agent’ man come to look at the flat the other day, because they’ve ‘finished it’ now and it’s only taken 5 years. He said lots of nice things but he particularly seemed to like me. He sat on the sofa so I sat up on the arm next to him so I could concentrate and he babe sat on the other side with us men. She babe kept trying not to laugh, but it was making her eyes water. I don’t know what was so funny. I was taking it very seriously and listening to every word. She said ‘I’m sorry – you’re being upstaged by the cat!’ The Cat! THE CAT??? Since when was I The Cat?! He said I was fine, so what does she know. The Cat! He left quite quickly when they said they weren’t thinking of selling, they just wanted to get an idea of what it was worth... I hope they weren’t talking about me. I could leave of my own accord anytime I like, but I don’t want to be sold.
On top of all that, we’ve had Valentine’s Day again and the babes bought each other presents again, especially wine and chocolates and he babe gave she babe a huge bunch of red roses and she was all surprised and it was all very nice and everything... but what about me? They say they love me but they didn’t get me a single thing AND I had to wait an extra 10 minutes before she babe fed me, so I bit her arm.
I’m very tempted to go and stay with the estate agent man. They seemed pleased with what he thought I was worth and maybe he’ll appreciate me a bit more than they do.
Anyway, I’m just depressed really. They’ve got a new friend staying with them and she’s nice to me; she lets me sleep on her bed and I can sneak out of her window into the garden without the babes knowing. He babe had a fright when he went to open my cat flap to let me out and I came in! That was really funny. He was all worried and thought I’d been shut out all night, but she babe worked it out. She’s clever sometimes. I think I love her – the new girl, not she babe – but her boyfriend came to stay and he was handsome and tall and human and everything and she shut her bedroom door! I had to sleep with the babes but I really missed her. I saw them in the morning having their breakfast, so I bit his leg.
I couldn’t be bothered to go out after that, so I just slept on the babes’ bed all day and tried not to think about it... but I think I have a broken heart. They were laughing at me in the evening because they could see I was upset, and they knew why, and then they shut the cat flap whilst I was in the garden and I banged my head when I tried to get in and that hurt. They laughed at that too! They’re not very nice people sometimes. They’d left the window open but I didn’t know that did I! I’m only two and a half.
I’ll be glad when it gets warmer and I can just get back to garden watch and feel the sun on my face again. The bees will be here soon so that will keep me busy and in the meantime I’ll just have to try to move on, but I don’t think I’ll ever love again.
Sigh.
Saturday, 3 March 2012
Friday, 15 April 2011
Garden Spa Day - Forrest's guide to Health & Beauty
You can't beat a good sawdust body scrub, followed by a spot of yoga on the lawn.
Fx
Thursday, 10 March 2011
Ode to a pussycat
My heart aches and a drowsy numbness pains my sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk...
That's from a poem by someone called Keats and that's how I feel. I was sick this morning. I tried to tell she babe but she just laughed and said "No - it's too early!" Then he babe said "What's he doing?" - except he shouted it really because of the earplug he wears so he can't hear himself snore. "He's got my sponge out of my pottery bag and he's throwing it around the room!" Well I was, obviously! But even when I manage to get their attention they don't take any notice!
In the end I went into the back room and was sick by my catflap. It was mostly whole biscuits. I knew she babe would see it there and probably not tread it in. I'm always very thoughtful, even when I have a lot on my mind.
She got up later to feed me but I couldn't eat - and it was my favourite ocean special sachet of bits of fish and jelly stuff too.
I'm lovesick. I can't eat. She babe should know that.
I think I might write a poem... but I'm not going to show it to the babes. They'll just laugh. Sigh.
That's from a poem by someone called Keats and that's how I feel. I was sick this morning. I tried to tell she babe but she just laughed and said "No - it's too early!" Then he babe said "What's he doing?" - except he shouted it really because of the earplug he wears so he can't hear himself snore. "He's got my sponge out of my pottery bag and he's throwing it around the room!" Well I was, obviously! But even when I manage to get their attention they don't take any notice!
In the end I went into the back room and was sick by my catflap. It was mostly whole biscuits. I knew she babe would see it there and probably not tread it in. I'm always very thoughtful, even when I have a lot on my mind.
She got up later to feed me but I couldn't eat - and it was my favourite ocean special sachet of bits of fish and jelly stuff too.
I'm lovesick. I can't eat. She babe should know that.
I think I might write a poem... but I'm not going to show it to the babes. They'll just laugh. Sigh.
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone... and The Waltons : what really went down on that mountain
There are no cats in The Waltons. There's a daft dog called Reckless that just barks a lot, a cow called Chance, a pig called Rover and a racoon called Pete - but no cats. I think the babes should stop watching it and go back to watching Friends. They're only on Series 2 and there are millions of them, and I bet there are no cats in any of them. Something strange must have happened on that mountain and we should be told. At least in Friends there was a cat once that scratched Rachel. It looked more like a roast chicken but it was definitely a cat. And another time Phoebe's grandmother was a cat. Hah!
The Waltons is just so unrealistic; the babes need to get out more.
I've been getting out a lot now that spring is in the air and the bees are starting to head back. I had a girlfriend for a few days last week but now I seem to have lost her. I keep looking but she's just not there. She was completely black, just like me but without all my white bits, she had tiny little paws and pretty eyes; she used to tease me by getting me to chase her under the camellia bush. We had joy, we had fun. Now it's very confusing and it's not fair - I thought she liked me.
I hate my food, the babes hardly ever buy anything I like, and I just want to sleep but they won't let me. I HATE being a teenager. I don't think I'll ever know the meaning of true love and it's all their fault.
I'm going back to bed.
The Waltons is just so unrealistic; the babes need to get out more.
I've been getting out a lot now that spring is in the air and the bees are starting to head back. I had a girlfriend for a few days last week but now I seem to have lost her. I keep looking but she's just not there. She was completely black, just like me but without all my white bits, she had tiny little paws and pretty eyes; she used to tease me by getting me to chase her under the camellia bush. We had joy, we had fun. Now it's very confusing and it's not fair - I thought she liked me.
I hate my food, the babes hardly ever buy anything I like, and I just want to sleep but they won't let me. I HATE being a teenager. I don't think I'll ever know the meaning of true love and it's all their fault.
I'm going back to bed.
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Don't pay the ferryman - the bleeping bleeps in government and a philosophical look at privatisation
I'm not fat – I'm just big boned! The vet said so! The babes took me to see the nice vet man before Christmas as I haven't seen him for a while, and he said I weigh 7.35 kilograms. She babe said "What's that in old money?" and he said "It's just over a stone." I think he just made that up so she'd understand, so I gave him a look. (He got really cross that I was wearing my new harness, in case I ran off, but I couldn't because she babe was holding it. I don't mind it - and there is NO WAY I'm going in that mobile home thing they used to put me in. It's tiny, I can't breathe and it makes my feet sweat.) She said "Oh lordy. Are we over-feeding him?" and the vet laughed and said "No! He's just a big cat! You've done well with him." Whatever that's supposed to mean.
But I AM a big cat – and I'm not scared of foxes!
The other evening there was a lot of barking going on outside the garden. She babe was in the loo and thought it was dogs. He babe said it was foxes so she came out to the smoking room to look. I was quite interested so I squeezed through my cat flap (it is definitely smaller than it used to be – although I did put on a little weight over Christmas, to be fair - pretzels and chocolate and too much tele) and spotted a huge fox stalking me and the babes from the shed roof at the end of the garden. They were both looking at it through the window of the smoking room – I think they were scared – so I secretly tiptoed alongside he babe's vegetable patch so it couldn't see me creeping up on it. Then it saw me, and started to climb down onto the garden fence so I squared up to it, and I think the babes started to panic. She was fidgeting around with her hands going "Oooh no, oooh shall we do something… foxes can do terrible things to cats can't they…" and he said "Not to one that big!" Then he ran off and she said "Where are you going?" and he said "To get the key to the back door, just in case." I think he was worried that I was going to hurt the fox. She said she was worried about the vet's bill. As soon as he babe started opening the door the fox changed his mind and jumped over the back of the fence and barked. I knew it! I scared him off! I'm good. I'm a fox hunter.
But aah, the babes. They're not very happy at the moment. He has to give all his money to pay for his taxis and tickets to the Isle of Wight Festival are sold out. I'm really fed up about that. I was looking forward to them going away for a few days so my granny could come and stay. She babe was laughing a lot this morning though. "They've just announced that Diana Vickers is doing the festival! Haaaa haaa! And Alexandra Burke! Oh my god that's hilarious! Haaaaahaaaahaaaa!" Apparently it made her laugh all the way to work. At least she's cheered up a bit. She's fed up with all the weight she put on over Christmas, a bit like me, so she keeps eating chocolate and cheese.
Diana Vickers. That's knickers in Cockney rhyming slang – hahahhhaaaa hah!
The babes are also not happy with 'this godforsaken government' (a man called Johnny Rotten said it was 'two bleeping bleeps for the price of one'… I don't think I get it). I'm a bit scared because I've heard they're going to sell off the Forrests. I might need to leave the country in a hurry if they do, and find my family tree in a Norwegian wood. I wonder if there'll be any babes there… Or - I could get the ferry to the Isle of Wight! They keep complaining that all the good things, like libraries, and the Laura Ashley shop on High Street Kensington, are being closed down, all the bills have gone up, petrol has gone up, VAT has gone up, and lots of people are losing their jobs. It seems to me that people are being very careless if they keep closing good things, losing things and letting things go up. If you don't look after things they might break and you might never be able to fix them. If it isn't broken you don't need to fix it, do you. Durr. They must know that. Maybe it's the bleeping bleeps in the government. She babe says they're evil and he babe says 'bring back Brown', and he didn't even like him.
She babe broke my food bowl once. She made me a replacement one at pottery but I have to use that for my water, because it weighs a ton, and my water bowl for my food. It does the trick, but it's not the same. Thank god my biscuit bowl hasn't changed, at least that's something (although my biscuits do end up all over the floor – but that's handy for when I run out). I don't mind doing things differently, but secretly I liked things the way they were.
I wish they'd go on holiday. I could do with a break.
Fx
But I AM a big cat – and I'm not scared of foxes!
The other evening there was a lot of barking going on outside the garden. She babe was in the loo and thought it was dogs. He babe said it was foxes so she came out to the smoking room to look. I was quite interested so I squeezed through my cat flap (it is definitely smaller than it used to be – although I did put on a little weight over Christmas, to be fair - pretzels and chocolate and too much tele) and spotted a huge fox stalking me and the babes from the shed roof at the end of the garden. They were both looking at it through the window of the smoking room – I think they were scared – so I secretly tiptoed alongside he babe's vegetable patch so it couldn't see me creeping up on it. Then it saw me, and started to climb down onto the garden fence so I squared up to it, and I think the babes started to panic. She was fidgeting around with her hands going "Oooh no, oooh shall we do something… foxes can do terrible things to cats can't they…" and he said "Not to one that big!" Then he ran off and she said "Where are you going?" and he said "To get the key to the back door, just in case." I think he was worried that I was going to hurt the fox. She said she was worried about the vet's bill. As soon as he babe started opening the door the fox changed his mind and jumped over the back of the fence and barked. I knew it! I scared him off! I'm good. I'm a fox hunter.
But aah, the babes. They're not very happy at the moment. He has to give all his money to pay for his taxis and tickets to the Isle of Wight Festival are sold out. I'm really fed up about that. I was looking forward to them going away for a few days so my granny could come and stay. She babe was laughing a lot this morning though. "They've just announced that Diana Vickers is doing the festival! Haaaa haaa! And Alexandra Burke! Oh my god that's hilarious! Haaaaahaaaahaaaa!" Apparently it made her laugh all the way to work. At least she's cheered up a bit. She's fed up with all the weight she put on over Christmas, a bit like me, so she keeps eating chocolate and cheese.
Diana Vickers. That's knickers in Cockney rhyming slang – hahahhhaaaa hah!
The babes are also not happy with 'this godforsaken government' (a man called Johnny Rotten said it was 'two bleeping bleeps for the price of one'… I don't think I get it). I'm a bit scared because I've heard they're going to sell off the Forrests. I might need to leave the country in a hurry if they do, and find my family tree in a Norwegian wood. I wonder if there'll be any babes there… Or - I could get the ferry to the Isle of Wight! They keep complaining that all the good things, like libraries, and the Laura Ashley shop on High Street Kensington, are being closed down, all the bills have gone up, petrol has gone up, VAT has gone up, and lots of people are losing their jobs. It seems to me that people are being very careless if they keep closing good things, losing things and letting things go up. If you don't look after things they might break and you might never be able to fix them. If it isn't broken you don't need to fix it, do you. Durr. They must know that. Maybe it's the bleeping bleeps in the government. She babe says they're evil and he babe says 'bring back Brown', and he didn't even like him.
She babe broke my food bowl once. She made me a replacement one at pottery but I have to use that for my water, because it weighs a ton, and my water bowl for my food. It does the trick, but it's not the same. Thank god my biscuit bowl hasn't changed, at least that's something (although my biscuits do end up all over the floor – but that's handy for when I run out). I don't mind doing things differently, but secretly I liked things the way they were.
I wish they'd go on holiday. I could do with a break.
Fx
Friday, 24 September 2010
Big is beautiful (handsome is as handsome does)
I think the summer is over now and it feels like it's been a long one – but really it was my first, because I was born in the summer last year so I don't remember much about it. I sometimes remember my mum, and my brothers and sisters, and my first family… but I wasn't allowed in the garden so life was very different then.
I do keep an 'eye out' for another family, when I'm patrolling the gardens now, just in case something better comes along, but so far I've decided to stay with the babes. They mean well and they're not that bad most of the time.
My mum had some more brothers and sisters this summer, and the babes talked about 'getting one', but then decided it was bad timing because they would be on holiday when it was time to 'pick it up'. I think they were talking in code so I wouldn't understand, and I didn't – but I'm used to that really. I think they're getting worse as I get older.
We had quite a busy summer most of the time. They did a lot of cooking and cleaning up and had people sitting in the garden at the weekends when it was sunny and hot. After a few weeks, when the weather was cold and wet like they said it always is in August these days, they stayed inside or went out and left me on my own.
I liked it when they had people in the garden because it meant I got to play with them and stay out later. One time it was really late and they were going inside, and I realised I hadn't patrolled the gardens that evening, so I ran off to do it. I got home just as it was starting to get light – I think I might have dozed off somewhere for a while, I'm not sure – and decided to sleep with their friend who was in bed in the living room! I looked in his face to see what he was doing and he woke up and 'jumped a mile'! He told the babes it 'scared the life out of him' when he opened his eyes and saw 'this thing' looking at him! I didn't like being called a 'thing', but it was funny.
I heard she babe get up in the morning so I thought I'd go and see her, mainly because it was breakfast time. She was in the smoking room looking out of the window at the garden. It does look nice in the morning. I spend a lot of time looking out of the window at the garden. I sat next to her for a minute and looked too and then she saw me and went "Oh Forrest! Oh my goodness! There you are! Where did you come from? Where have you been? Oh my goodness!" And then she picked me up – I knew that was coming – and kept hugging me so that it made my pips squeak. She gave me my breakfast and then, instead of going out like I usually do, I decided to go back to bed. I spent nearly all that day on our bed sleeping really – I was quite worn out from the night before and my head ached and the light hurt my eyes. They said I was like a teenage boy, and it was like I had a 'hangover'. They said I looked 'very the worse for wear' and I even had bags under my eyes! (That's a stupid thing to say – even for them.) Never again!
I've had a few late nights since, but nothing like that one. I won't do that again in a hurry.
It was my birthday a few weeks so now I'm a year old. I've got so big it hurts when I go through the first catflap. Sometimes I have to stop half way to rest and the babes laugh at my bum poking out. I try to get them to open the door for me but they just say 'Forrest! Don't be so lazy!' Like THEY know what I'm thinking! They have talked about getting a bigger cat flap, or a dog flap maybe. I don't know, but I wish they'd hurry up because I'm still growing and one day I'll get stuck forever.
She babe gave me a little fuzzy mouse that rattles for my birthday and it's my best thing ever. I like pushing it under the sofa and his chest of drawers because I'm too big to fit under them, so she gets a long stick called a golf club and hooks it out, so that I can flick it back under again. The first time I flicked it under she didn't see, so I went and got her and cried so that she would know what I'd done; it took her so long to find it I got bored in the end and left her to it, but now she knows where to look so it's OK. I like it when she lies on the floor looking under things to find mousey; I usually try to help her so I put my head next to hers and look where she's looking. She needs someone to help 'cos lots of my toys are under things and he babe pretends he can't see her on the floor and he can't get on the floor to look under because of his sigh attica.
Now I'm getting older it's good, because they're giving me a bit more freedom, which I like. One weekend they went to visit some friends one night and they didn't come home! Their friend Pippa came to see me the next morning with Nancy, who is like a small version of Pippa (like me and my mum!). They thought I was 'huuuuge!' (but I know I'm just big-boned so I didn't mind) and Nancy was a bit nervous of me I think. She said 'Ooh mummy! He's giving me a look!' I felt a bit shy but I was smiling at her really, but I don't think she could tell. They were very kind and gave me my breakfast and opened my cat flap so that I could go on garden duty. Maybe I should go and live with them… I think Nancy and I could be best friends. Nancy is she babe's god son Miles's sister. One day I expect I'll know what that means.
The babes got home that evening and went to bed soon after. I think that's what you have to do if you don't come home at night.
They also went on holiday for over a week last week, and my granny came to stay! We had a lot of fun and I kept her entertained in the garden. She really laughed when I ate a little white feather and I know she told she babe on her phone! One day it rained really hard so I ran inside because I didn't like it. She laughed (why is everyone always laughing at me?) and said "Oh Forrest – you're a big baby!" Well I'm not actually. I'm a big pussy cat. But she gave me a treat to "…get over it.", so that was nice. And she told she babe on her phone.
I had a lovely time with my granny and she gave me lots of hugs. It would be nice if granddad came too – but he doesn't like London and he has to look after the garden and sheep and Spot the dog. He was born here during the war. Maybe I could help him with the garden.
One day the babes were talking about a tiny little puppy dog they saw playing with the children on their holiday and he said he knew they'd end up getting one (I thought they didn't like small dogs, but whatever). She said "No we won't!" and he said "Can you imagine the fun Forrest would have with that?" and she said "No he wouldn't, he'd just push it under the wardrobe!" She's probably not wrong.
What's new pussy cat!
I do keep an 'eye out' for another family, when I'm patrolling the gardens now, just in case something better comes along, but so far I've decided to stay with the babes. They mean well and they're not that bad most of the time.
My mum had some more brothers and sisters this summer, and the babes talked about 'getting one', but then decided it was bad timing because they would be on holiday when it was time to 'pick it up'. I think they were talking in code so I wouldn't understand, and I didn't – but I'm used to that really. I think they're getting worse as I get older.
We had quite a busy summer most of the time. They did a lot of cooking and cleaning up and had people sitting in the garden at the weekends when it was sunny and hot. After a few weeks, when the weather was cold and wet like they said it always is in August these days, they stayed inside or went out and left me on my own.
I liked it when they had people in the garden because it meant I got to play with them and stay out later. One time it was really late and they were going inside, and I realised I hadn't patrolled the gardens that evening, so I ran off to do it. I got home just as it was starting to get light – I think I might have dozed off somewhere for a while, I'm not sure – and decided to sleep with their friend who was in bed in the living room! I looked in his face to see what he was doing and he woke up and 'jumped a mile'! He told the babes it 'scared the life out of him' when he opened his eyes and saw 'this thing' looking at him! I didn't like being called a 'thing', but it was funny.
I heard she babe get up in the morning so I thought I'd go and see her, mainly because it was breakfast time. She was in the smoking room looking out of the window at the garden. It does look nice in the morning. I spend a lot of time looking out of the window at the garden. I sat next to her for a minute and looked too and then she saw me and went "Oh Forrest! Oh my goodness! There you are! Where did you come from? Where have you been? Oh my goodness!" And then she picked me up – I knew that was coming – and kept hugging me so that it made my pips squeak. She gave me my breakfast and then, instead of going out like I usually do, I decided to go back to bed. I spent nearly all that day on our bed sleeping really – I was quite worn out from the night before and my head ached and the light hurt my eyes. They said I was like a teenage boy, and it was like I had a 'hangover'. They said I looked 'very the worse for wear' and I even had bags under my eyes! (That's a stupid thing to say – even for them.) Never again!
I've had a few late nights since, but nothing like that one. I won't do that again in a hurry.
It was my birthday a few weeks so now I'm a year old. I've got so big it hurts when I go through the first catflap. Sometimes I have to stop half way to rest and the babes laugh at my bum poking out. I try to get them to open the door for me but they just say 'Forrest! Don't be so lazy!' Like THEY know what I'm thinking! They have talked about getting a bigger cat flap, or a dog flap maybe. I don't know, but I wish they'd hurry up because I'm still growing and one day I'll get stuck forever.
She babe gave me a little fuzzy mouse that rattles for my birthday and it's my best thing ever. I like pushing it under the sofa and his chest of drawers because I'm too big to fit under them, so she gets a long stick called a golf club and hooks it out, so that I can flick it back under again. The first time I flicked it under she didn't see, so I went and got her and cried so that she would know what I'd done; it took her so long to find it I got bored in the end and left her to it, but now she knows where to look so it's OK. I like it when she lies on the floor looking under things to find mousey; I usually try to help her so I put my head next to hers and look where she's looking. She needs someone to help 'cos lots of my toys are under things and he babe pretends he can't see her on the floor and he can't get on the floor to look under because of his sigh attica.
Now I'm getting older it's good, because they're giving me a bit more freedom, which I like. One weekend they went to visit some friends one night and they didn't come home! Their friend Pippa came to see me the next morning with Nancy, who is like a small version of Pippa (like me and my mum!). They thought I was 'huuuuge!' (but I know I'm just big-boned so I didn't mind) and Nancy was a bit nervous of me I think. She said 'Ooh mummy! He's giving me a look!' I felt a bit shy but I was smiling at her really, but I don't think she could tell. They were very kind and gave me my breakfast and opened my cat flap so that I could go on garden duty. Maybe I should go and live with them… I think Nancy and I could be best friends. Nancy is she babe's god son Miles's sister. One day I expect I'll know what that means.
The babes got home that evening and went to bed soon after. I think that's what you have to do if you don't come home at night.
They also went on holiday for over a week last week, and my granny came to stay! We had a lot of fun and I kept her entertained in the garden. She really laughed when I ate a little white feather and I know she told she babe on her phone! One day it rained really hard so I ran inside because I didn't like it. She laughed (why is everyone always laughing at me?) and said "Oh Forrest – you're a big baby!" Well I'm not actually. I'm a big pussy cat. But she gave me a treat to "…get over it.", so that was nice. And she told she babe on her phone.
I had a lovely time with my granny and she gave me lots of hugs. It would be nice if granddad came too – but he doesn't like London and he has to look after the garden and sheep and Spot the dog. He was born here during the war. Maybe I could help him with the garden.
One day the babes were talking about a tiny little puppy dog they saw playing with the children on their holiday and he said he knew they'd end up getting one (I thought they didn't like small dogs, but whatever). She said "No we won't!" and he said "Can you imagine the fun Forrest would have with that?" and she said "No he wouldn't, he'd just push it under the wardrobe!" She's probably not wrong.
What's new pussy cat!
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
A hard day’s night
I broke the shower curtain rail yesterday and I don’t think I was meant to.
He babe was in the bathroom and I thought I’d keep him company. I’m not really allowed in the bathroom but the door was left open so I wanted to explore a bit. It’s a small room really and I don’t like the bath thing. It’s not very comfortable to sit in, it’s cold and it’s hard to get out of. I got in it yesterday and then wanted to jump onto the toilet but the bath is slippy, so I held onto the curtain and was going to climb over, but the rail broke and fell off the wall. It made a really big crash and broke the china handle thing for the shower off and it smashed where she’d stuck it together before, and he swore! She babe came to have a look at all the noise but by then I was sitting on my worktop in the kitchen. I thought she might think he babe had done it but he told her it was me and I think he swore again! She said “Well that’s why I don’t let him in there babe.” And he said “I was just cleaning my teeth.” I knew it was his fault.
When I was a tiny kitten the lodger who was in the spare room for a while broke the rail too and they didn’t try to stop her going in there, even when he was cleaning his teeth. She said she’d slipped and grabbed the curtain, just like I did! – but he didn’t swear at her. Not so she could hear anyway. They should be a bit more sensitive to my feelings. I’m still only 10 months and two weeks old.
There’s a bath in the garden for the birds but it’s too small for me. It’s OK to have a little drink from sometimes, but the pigeons use it as a toilet as well and I don’t really like it when they do that.
Anyway, after all the excitement I went outside and found a huge beetle to play with. I needed something to take my mind off the neglect. He babe came to look and said it was a ‘stag beetle’ and she pointed her phone at it and followed it for ages. She said she was filming it, but it didn’t speak or anything. She does everything with her phone. I kept trying to splat it – the beetle not the phone! – but they kept splatting me so I couldn’t! Then it stretched its wings out so she screamed and ran down the garden waving her hands around. She looked really silly and he babe and I just stared at her really. Sometimes we don’t know what to do with her. I wanted to laugh but I didn’t want them to think I’d forgotten about the incident in the bathroom.
I’ve been a bit distant with them on and off lately – I’m just trying to be more independent, that’s all – but they’ve bought some nice soft snuggley covers for the beds now, so I’m not sleeping on the sofa as much and at least I’m a bit more comfortable. My hammocky nearly touches the floor when I get in it! Why does everything keep shrinking? The babes should complain; they must have stopped using the hammocky a long time ago ‘cos they’re much bigger than me. Maybe that’s why they got me, so I could have their hand-me-downs.
I’m quite ‘hard done by’ really… did you know, they went somewhere last weekend, on the Friday, and didn’t come home until Monday night! I didn’t mind because my granny came to stay and I love her – but I still had to pretend to be cross with them when they got back because they shouldn’t just leave me like that. They know I like to travel and get out and about. And they went in her car, and they KNOW I look good in it!
I had a nice time with my granny though; it was good to have a bit more attention paid to me. The babe’s get distracted very easily and I think they sometimes forget that I’m there, but my granny played with me a lot and I showed her all my skills in the garden – especially my latest fly catching manoeuvres. I think she was quite impressed by how much I’ve grown up. I’m not just a silly little kitten playing with toys anymore (I just do that to entertain people really). I’m onto the real thing now.
The babes had gone somewhere called the ‘Isle of Wight’ to see lots of bands and listen to music at a ‘festival’. I don’t see why they couldn’t do that here, but whatever keeps them happy I suppose. She brought me back a cuddly toy bee. Well, I’ve grown out of bees now (well… mostly… it’s just that I’m into flies and beetles at the moment, as you know) and SHE should have known that, so I pulled one of its ears off. Oh, but they said a beetle played at the festival! That’s just not fair! Why wasn’t I there? I wish I could have been there. I’d have pulled his wings off.
Oh blah di. Just another day in the life.
x
He babe was in the bathroom and I thought I’d keep him company. I’m not really allowed in the bathroom but the door was left open so I wanted to explore a bit. It’s a small room really and I don’t like the bath thing. It’s not very comfortable to sit in, it’s cold and it’s hard to get out of. I got in it yesterday and then wanted to jump onto the toilet but the bath is slippy, so I held onto the curtain and was going to climb over, but the rail broke and fell off the wall. It made a really big crash and broke the china handle thing for the shower off and it smashed where she’d stuck it together before, and he swore! She babe came to have a look at all the noise but by then I was sitting on my worktop in the kitchen. I thought she might think he babe had done it but he told her it was me and I think he swore again! She said “Well that’s why I don’t let him in there babe.” And he said “I was just cleaning my teeth.” I knew it was his fault.
When I was a tiny kitten the lodger who was in the spare room for a while broke the rail too and they didn’t try to stop her going in there, even when he was cleaning his teeth. She said she’d slipped and grabbed the curtain, just like I did! – but he didn’t swear at her. Not so she could hear anyway. They should be a bit more sensitive to my feelings. I’m still only 10 months and two weeks old.
There’s a bath in the garden for the birds but it’s too small for me. It’s OK to have a little drink from sometimes, but the pigeons use it as a toilet as well and I don’t really like it when they do that.
Anyway, after all the excitement I went outside and found a huge beetle to play with. I needed something to take my mind off the neglect. He babe came to look and said it was a ‘stag beetle’ and she pointed her phone at it and followed it for ages. She said she was filming it, but it didn’t speak or anything. She does everything with her phone. I kept trying to splat it – the beetle not the phone! – but they kept splatting me so I couldn’t! Then it stretched its wings out so she screamed and ran down the garden waving her hands around. She looked really silly and he babe and I just stared at her really. Sometimes we don’t know what to do with her. I wanted to laugh but I didn’t want them to think I’d forgotten about the incident in the bathroom.
I’ve been a bit distant with them on and off lately – I’m just trying to be more independent, that’s all – but they’ve bought some nice soft snuggley covers for the beds now, so I’m not sleeping on the sofa as much and at least I’m a bit more comfortable. My hammocky nearly touches the floor when I get in it! Why does everything keep shrinking? The babes should complain; they must have stopped using the hammocky a long time ago ‘cos they’re much bigger than me. Maybe that’s why they got me, so I could have their hand-me-downs.
I’m quite ‘hard done by’ really… did you know, they went somewhere last weekend, on the Friday, and didn’t come home until Monday night! I didn’t mind because my granny came to stay and I love her – but I still had to pretend to be cross with them when they got back because they shouldn’t just leave me like that. They know I like to travel and get out and about. And they went in her car, and they KNOW I look good in it!
I had a nice time with my granny though; it was good to have a bit more attention paid to me. The babe’s get distracted very easily and I think they sometimes forget that I’m there, but my granny played with me a lot and I showed her all my skills in the garden – especially my latest fly catching manoeuvres. I think she was quite impressed by how much I’ve grown up. I’m not just a silly little kitten playing with toys anymore (I just do that to entertain people really). I’m onto the real thing now.
The babes had gone somewhere called the ‘Isle of Wight’ to see lots of bands and listen to music at a ‘festival’. I don’t see why they couldn’t do that here, but whatever keeps them happy I suppose. She brought me back a cuddly toy bee. Well, I’ve grown out of bees now (well… mostly… it’s just that I’m into flies and beetles at the moment, as you know) and SHE should have known that, so I pulled one of its ears off. Oh, but they said a beetle played at the festival! That’s just not fair! Why wasn’t I there? I wish I could have been there. I’d have pulled his wings off.
Oh blah di. Just another day in the life.
x
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