Oh blah bee, oh blah blah

Now that the spring is sprung I get to spend a lot more time in the garden with the babes. I pretend I’m not bothered really, but I keep an eye on them in case they get into trouble or do anything interesting. They also help me out sometimes, like when I try to get off the roof of the smoking room where they keep the tools and get stuck on top of the door, or when I forget where the fence goes and I can’t get down. I seem to manage when they’re not there but it makes life easier when they are and it’s nice to have their support whilst I’m practising.

My thing that I most like to do these days though is play with bees. They’re so lovely. I'm a bit bored of the big fat stripey ones now - they're too slow. I like the small busy ones; we get a lot of them on the flowers and I spend hours every day practicing my swatting, jumping, batting, splatting and acrobatic skills (especially the backflips). I’m getting really good. I brought down about two on one day at the weekend (and this weekend had four days, so the babes didn’t go out working all that time and were there to watch me, so I felt very proud). The babes are so funny! Every time I bat the big bright pink flowers (they’re the ones the bees REALLY like, called camellias) the bees bounce off and I start jumping after them, so the babes start jumping around too! They’re so silly, so I do my jumping even more because they like it so much. Then she babe runs after me and tries to catch me, but I’m like a fast slippery slug, or she says the otter in Ring of Bright Water (Midge - "midge midge"), and she can’t hold onto me! We have so much fun – it’s the best game ever. Sometimes he joins in and says things like “Oi silly bollocks (I think that might be rude!) – you’ll get stung!” Well, I’m trying he-babe; I’m sure I will eventually.

I got a bee stuck on my chin by its wings the other day and it made a really loud buzzing noise, so I hid under a garden chair, but it followed me! She babe managed to grab me and made me lose it, so I scratched her nose and made it bleed. Hah! She won’t do that again. She said that maybe she won’t get the beehive she was hoping to get just yet. Well, quite frankly I don’t think she should - I don't know what that's got to do with me but I'm not sure her hair is up to it.

I also like to collect worms – I’ve been doing it since I was really little but it’s good to keep my hand in. I’ve noticed that when I take them inside though they go a bit dry and crusty and then they don't do anything, so I might not do that so much. I was taking the big pink flowers inside for them too (the babes, not the worms, silly!) but they just laughed at me, so they can pick their own flowers from now on.

I’m getting to practice my ambushing skills a lot now and it seems to be going really well. I hide in amongst the plants and when the babes walk by I run up to them really fast, slap the backs of their legs with my hands and then, if I get my timing right, I kick off with my back feet! They always scream first (well, she does) and then laugh a lot, but I know they’re scared really. “Oh Forrest! You’re a nutter!”

She was pulling plants out of the ground the other day, for no reason, so every so often I’d charge at her from across the garden and bite her hand to make her let the plants go, but she just screamed and then laughed and carried on doing it – and I heard him tell his mum about it on the phone while he was watching me and he was laughing too. She shouldn’t do that to plants (they were called ‘weeds’). She has to think of the bees. What about the bees? – they won’t have anywhere to wait for… for the flowers, for me.

Apart from all of that, we’ve just had my first Easter time.

As you know, I love chocolate. I can’t get enough of it. So this Easter time I think is the best so far, now I’m eight months old (it was my eight-month birthday on Easter Sunday!), because chocolate is everywhere. I don’t think he babe realises that there is a ‘cream egg’ (I know what it is from the tele – it’s very gooey in the middle and explodes all over the screen) in the fruit bowl where they keep their onions, chillies and garlic. (I’m partial to the odd chilli but as she babe reminds me when she catches me eating one, I shouldn’t because they give me a hot bot bot, and she’s right you know.)

Anyway, a bit of the wrapper is missing (I think that’s because the egg was in he babe’s jeans pocket for ages before he took them off to put them in the machine that fidgets about and goes round and round (sometimes it’s more interesting than the tele – especially when it's Friends again). (Now I’m getting my brackets confused – I’m still learning and it’s quite difficult.(..([]?] (()))

><))))*>

Oh!

Erm, where was I? Yes, the wrapper. So, every time I’m passing I give it a few quick licks. I like it and the babes have no idea! (I also lick their big eggs when they leave them on the table not in their boxes, but they don’t realise that either, mostly anyway, except when I knock them on the floor by mistake.)

Anyway, all this activity is very tiring and I’m sleeping a lot. All my beds seem to have got smaller but fortunately their bed is still just about big enough – but I think one of them might have to move into the spare room soon because it’s getting a bit crowded.

And they got me ‘insured’ today, whatever that means - but I think it had something to do with bees and the ‘stings’. Oh I really hope so!

On that note, must run. Time for bee watch.

xx