There are no cats in The Waltons. There's a daft dog called Reckless that just barks a lot, a cow called Chance, a pig called Rover and a racoon called Pete - but no cats. I think the babes should stop watching it and go back to watching Friends. They're only on Series 2 and there are millions of them, and I bet there are no cats in any of them. Something strange must have happened on that mountain and we should be told. At least in Friends there was a cat once that scratched Rachel. It looked more like a roast chicken but it was definitely a cat. And another time Phoebe's grandmother was a cat. Hah!
The Waltons is just so unrealistic; the babes need to get out more.
I've been getting out a lot now that spring is in the air and the bees are starting to head back. I had a girlfriend for a few days last week but now I seem to have lost her. I keep looking but she's just not there. She was completely black, just like me but without all my white bits, she had tiny little paws and pretty eyes; she used to tease me by getting me to chase her under the camellia bush. We had joy, we had fun. Now it's very confusing and it's not fair - I thought she liked me.
I hate my food, the babes hardly ever buy anything I like, and I just want to sleep but they won't let me. I HATE being a teenager. I don't think I'll ever know the meaning of true love and it's all their fault.
I'm going back to bed.
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