Don’t give up on us baby

- The Waltons, the Olympics and there’s love in the air

I can’t remember the last time I reflected on my life. As the babes would say, I don’t know where the time goes, there aren’t enough hours in the day and I can’t believe it’s March already – but at least the clocks go forward soon, so the days will be longer... but it’ll be darker in the mornings. Oh my good god; it’s no wonder I can’t think straight.

What does it all mean? Nobody knows. Certainly not them.

They’re getting on my nerves at the moment, going on about Series 5 of The Waltons and how they can’t get it anywhere, but they’ve finished Series 4 and now they don’t have anything to watch when they’re eating pizza. I don’t know why they can’t just watch the ‘ads’ like they usually do; they enjoy them the most. Maybe I’ll buy them Series 1 of the ads for a present. Seems to me they spend too much time thinking about The Waltons – that’s where it all goes; it’s pretty obvious. The Waltons is just a bunch of people in dungarees running around being nice to each other on a mountain, with a moral to the story, the food looks boring and there are no cats. I prefer Saturday Kitchen.

She babe used to buy me lots of presents to cheer me up but she hasn’t done for ages; she just gets old ones out of the box and thinks I won’t realise. She knows I only like my mouse with the bell that wakes them up when I’m playing in the bedroom at 5 in the morning... and I still quite like the spongy blue ball (more than the green one)... and the catnip gingerbread man my granny gave me for Christmas; I’ve pulled his bow tie off but I’m saving his buttons for another time when I’m really bored.

Last night she babe went to the gym. I’m not sure why. She said it was a class called ‘Body Blitz’ and she could hardly walk after it. And her membership is ‘costing a fortune’ so she has to do it. I’m still trying to figure it all out. He babe goes to work and gets his body blitzed and he gets paid to do that. I think it might be because she’s going to be in the Olympics. That’s something to do with ‘sport’ and she’s not going to have a social life because she’ll be rehearsing every weekend. I have no idea what she’s talking about, as usual. This is my first Olympics so I expect I’ll understand when I’ve seen it, or done it, or whatever it is. Last night she did a ‘group cycling’ class at the gym so she’s probably going to be doing that. They watched it on tele the other week. The men have huge thighs, just like hers.

I’m looking forward to doing some sport again; it’s been very quiet in the garden lately. The babes think I’ve scared all the other cats away because I’m so huge and they said it’s too cold for flies and bees, so it’s really boring. But there was a bit fat bumble bee the other day so I had some practice chasing him off anyway.

They had an ‘estate agent’ man come to look at the flat the other day, because they’ve ‘finished it’ now and it’s only taken 5 years. He said lots of nice things but he particularly seemed to like me. He sat on the sofa so I sat up on the arm next to him so I could concentrate and he babe sat on the other side with us men. She babe kept trying not to laugh, but it was making her eyes water. I don’t know what was so funny. I was taking it very seriously and listening to every word. She said ‘I’m sorry – you’re being upstaged by the cat!’ The Cat! THE CAT??? Since when was I The Cat?! He said I was fine, so what does she know. The Cat! He left quite quickly when they said they weren’t thinking of selling, they just wanted to get an idea of what it was worth... I hope they weren’t talking about me. I could leave of my own accord anytime I like, but I don’t want to be sold.

On top of all that, we’ve had Valentine’s Day again and the babes bought each other presents again, especially wine and chocolates and he babe gave she babe a huge bunch of red roses and she was all surprised and it was all very nice and everything... but what about me? They say they love me but they didn’t get me a single thing AND I had to wait an extra 10 minutes before she babe fed me, so I bit her arm.

I’m very tempted to go and stay with the estate agent man. They seemed pleased with what he thought I was worth and maybe he’ll appreciate me a bit more than they do.

Anyway, I’m just depressed really. They’ve got a new friend staying with them and she’s nice to me; she lets me sleep on her bed and I can sneak out of her window into the garden without the babes knowing. He babe had a fright when he went to open my cat flap to let me out and I came in! That was really funny. He was all worried and thought I’d been shut out all night, but she babe worked it out. She’s clever sometimes. I think I love her – the new girl, not she babe – but her boyfriend came to stay and he was handsome and tall and human and everything and she shut her bedroom door! I had to sleep with the babes but I really missed her. I saw them in the morning having their breakfast, so I bit his leg.

I couldn’t be bothered to go out after that, so I just slept on the babes’ bed all day and tried not to think about it... but I think I have a broken heart. They were laughing at me in the evening because they could see I was upset, and they knew why, and then they shut the cat flap whilst I was in the garden and I banged my head when I tried to get in and that hurt. They laughed at that too! They’re not very nice people sometimes. They’d left the window open but I didn’t know that did I! I’m only two and a half.

I’ll be glad when it gets warmer and I can just get back to garden watch and feel the sun on my face again. The bees will be here soon so that will keep me busy and in the meantime I’ll just have to try to move on, but I don’t think I’ll ever love again.

Sigh.